Monday Morning Secret Wars 2: So Many Thors, So Little Time

Now that’s a crossover!

Secret Wars 2 kicks off our mega-blockbust event for reals. We’ve finally put down Time Runs Out and finally start the story proper. And now, we know who the real star of Secret Wars is:

Hickman design for the win.

Yup, it’s a Doom story. We still don’t know exactly what happened to Doom (and Dr. Strange, and the last remaining Molecule Man) at the end of New Avengers when his plan to use the Baxter Building as a missile against the Beyonders (and that was an awesome plan, let’s admit) failed. But we do know that Doom is in charge of the remnants of Earth-616 and the Ultimate Universe, which is now…BATTLEWORLD.

But first, we get Overly Vain Thor.


“Seriously, kid, stop looking at yourself in the mirror.”

“Can’t, Odin wannabe. My eyebrows are just too awesome.”

So Battleworld is run by a ton of Thors. The cover for Secret Wars promises that we’ll get Thors for every reality, including my favorite Thor…


PUDDLEGULP, THE FROG OF THUNDER! I am so proud of myself for remembering that the frog was named Puddlegulp from the Simonson Thor run. Seriously, when you get into your 40s, and you can still remember obscure comic book trivia like that, it just makes your day awesome.

So we get a shot of all the Thors…

Wait a minute. WHERE’S PUDDLEGULP? MARVEL LIED! I WANT MY PUDDLEGULP SECRET WARS CROSSOVER! Grumble grumble…

Speaking of Thor, here’s the best Thor joke ever, from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman:


Meanwhile, we do find out that even if you died in the run-up to Secret Wars, you can still be alive in Secret Wars. For example, Hyperion bit the dust in New Avengers, but he’s alive ag wearing a domino mask. However, if you’re a transgender Moloid, you’re probably not allowed into the big crossover event:


Granted, I really can’t tell one Moloid from another (and admit it, neither can you), but there are four Moloids into the Future Foundation. We know that this sequence involves others from that team; we see Alex Power, Dragon Man, and Bentley-23. I’d be really surprised if these were supposed to be other Moloids, so these are probably Mik, Korr, and Turg, the Moloids who identify as male on the team. But Tong, who announced that she was female during Matt Fraction’s FF run, doesn’t seem to be around. Or she might be, but isn’t presenting herself as female in Battleworld (Doom doesn’t really strike me as being the most enlightened guy when it comes to gender politics). Or she might be off in the distance. Or something. It’s unfortunate.

NOTE: Hickman later tweeted me and confirmed these are not Mik, Korr, and Turg. Just other Moloids. Thanks, Jonathan!


OK, that drawing of Jamie Braddock might be more unfortunate. Seriously, my wife’s eyes bulged when I showed her this. No one at Marvel caught this?

Something I did catch:


Is it just me, or did Sue seem to show…tenderness…to Doom in this scene? Clearly, Sue is a trusted voice in Doom’s ear. But if she’s doing it, she can’t be doing it willingly. When Doom created Battleworld, did he make her forget about her love for Reed? And when Reed finally gets into Battleworld and confronts Doom, will she remember Reed…and his part in this whole mess? Remember, Reed is partially to blame for the end of the universes by his participation in the Illuminati. If Sue is repulsed by what Doom has done to her, and it’s Reed’s fault, could this truly spell the end of the Fantastic Four, and the Last Remaining Superhero Marriage in comics? This will be interesting to follow.

Glenn and I talked about Secret Wars on the upcoming episode of GAR! Podcast. He felt that the story felt like Game of Thrones. I’ve seen parts of Judge Dredd here, as did other sites. But I didn’t mind Hickman cribbing a bit here. The Battleworld of Secret Wars feels like a neat concept, big enough to house an all-encompassing summer event without feeling too claustrophobic. Next week, we get the first eight crossover books of Secret Wars, and I’m looking forward to finally seeing where we’re going.

1 thought on “Monday Morning Secret Wars 2: So Many Thors, So Little Time”

Say Something!